For me, going by my intuition has been the best thing for keeping myself on a more emotional even keel. Throughout the years where I have suffered at the hands of anxiety, stress and depression, being able to build some kind of management structure for myself to lean on I have found has helped a lot. However it has also caused issues at times within relationships due to being quite rigid in my thinking. Part of my AuDHistic makeup that I am yet to understand better. I have found as I have calmed my anxiety I can tune in to my intuition so much better. I’ve put together the things below that work for me, which you may or may not want to try.
Due to my age it was recommended I try other management strategies rather than medication and I have seen the benefits of a holistic approach. I had already started quite a few which is down to the spiritual path that I follow and the understanding of myself within the world.
Routine – what I follow most of the week and sticking to a particular menu for my meals. This helps because; 1) I don’t have to think too much at the end of an 8 hour work day about what to cook. 2) high protein based as this seems to help with my focus. Being out of routine too long can have a detrimental effect on me, hence why I like planning when away on holiday. To appease my ADHD side I do get spontaneous sometimes, but this can include risk-taking…which is another topic for another time!
I am pescatarian so have a lot of fish, omega 3 is known to help stabilise mood. I also snack on nuts and have an almond based yoghurt for my breakfast. Minimal carbohydrates helps.
Exercise – I walk in nature at least 30 minutes every day. I also love dancing at the weekend, where I can bounce off the walls for between four to five hours at a time when there are good tunes on. If I am feeling less sociable then the kitchen becomes my dance floor whilst making a cuppa (I do not have milk in my tea, I know not if this is important). I will also go for longer nature walks on a weekend, made better by sharing with a friend or two.
Passions – I indulge in my passions at least twice a week. These are astrology, music, nature and photography. Doing mindful photography and reading signs in nature is a comfort for me, along with having an understanding of the energies going on seasonally and planetary-wise.
Meditation – Regular morning and evening meditations is something that I have been doing for almost 10 months now and I do extras at weekends. Having been bought a subscription to the service I also have completed a fair few of the courses that are available on the particular app that I use. Please refer to the resources section for recommendations of apps that I use currently. I have been happily amazed at the change in myself through meditation practice in regard to lowering my anxiety and recovery from emotional knock-backs.
Mindful Movement – Tai chi energy control and movement. I have found this wonderful to add to my routine and well-being. It really does help with keeping my mood balanced and also I have found it very beneficial for my physical health too. I have IBS and as this exercises inside as well as out it’s brilliant.
Others – Being part of a collective. I am a Co-chair of a neurodivergent network at work and have also set up a WhatsApp group with friends outside of work. Being able to share and talk with others that just get it is the best therapy, ever.
Giving back – to myself and others. Adding to a gratitude journal and an achievements journal. When my anxieties are starting to ramp up, as they do at times, my go-to’s are to remind myself of what I’m grateful for and my wins, however small. I also find giving back helps too, so will go litter-picking at my local park, make a donation to a local charity (usually cats or homeless), look to see if there is any volunteering I can take part in. It all depends on my energy levels but I know these things help.
Focus – focus apps, music (I find Dub an excellent go-to on Bandcamp) and stim toys. I’ve yet to try out body-doubling at work.
Even the ‘fake it ’til you make it’ works with some of these, so even if you think they won’t impact you in a good way, try them first before you write them off. Especially the meditation.
It sounds like a lot, but once in place, the cogs just fit with occasional adjustment or lubrication. I am not saying that I don’t slip or have bad days. I understand that life is a balance of bad and good, light and dark. I also know that whatever it is that I am going through will end at some point, whether that be a good thing or whether that be a bad thing. But I have the best management that I can, groups, friends and go to activities to help me if that happens. I have found if I do slip that I actually recover quicker these days because of the management that I have in place.
As an addendum to this management section I will say that the one thing that neurotypicals do not understand is the fact that this management is in place to enable us to fit within the world. And it can actually get quite exhausting having to keep everything going and all the plates spinning at times. So there will be the times when basically I just need to isolate due to crashing emotionally and physically. One of the things that helps with this is by overcooking on meals, such as when I do Curry’s or meat free Bolognese. These will then get frozen so that when I get to the end of a day or on a weekend, when I’ve literally just ran out of energy, I can use these as a go to. This really helps a lot, so that I am saved some energy for trying to think what I am going to eat or what I am going to cook. It may sound ridiculous to those where these things are just every day and easy for them. For those within the Neurodiverse collective it really, really isn’t. But I know doing these keeps me well and if I can keep anxiety and depression at bay or better controlled then I will exhaust myself doing it!